solo mama entendre

It was 2 a.m. and Noah and I were sitting outside the emergency room at a local hospital due to severe stomach pains he was having. We were having a debate about whether we should go in, or if his pains could be a result of constipation. I must have asked him at least a dozen times “on a scale of 1-10, how would you describe your pain?” We ended up going to a 7-11 after an hour of sitting and debating and thinking, and picking up a very expensive bottle of pepto bismal and a bag of Dulcolax chews.

Fast forward about a year and I spent the weekend with mild chest pains and nausea and fighting off everyone in the household’s insistence that I should go to the ER to get things checked out. And we know how that ended up – a week in the hospital following what was apparently a dissected coronary artery (and the whole time, my pain number really never went above a 3).

Why the hesitation and debate and putting our health on the line? To avoid the $1000 co-pay at the ER. It’s a true peace of mind balance. Is this “real” enough to spend a thousand bucks on or are we going to find out that we haven’t eaten enough fiber this week. Am I going to be on a payment plan for the next couple of years to pay off the co-pay and 20% of the bill only to find out I pulled a muscle when I moved my couch to vacuum under it? Americans are in about $220 billion dollars of medical debt, and of course single parents are disproportionately affected – even those who carry decent insurance (like me).

I’ve learned a couple of key things when dealing with medical expenses during the last 16 years. First, it’s always worth it to check into “charity programs” with medical organizations and hospitals. After an emergency room visit several years ago, I applied for charity, fully expecting that I would make too much money. I don’t make a lot of money, but I learned early on in my career that even making $40k in Colorado raising two children on your own bars you from most state and federal benefits except CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program), which I didn’t need. Pleasantly, I learned that I was way within the charity guidelines – at this time making significantly more than $40k – and when I produced all the necessary paperwork, my $4000 co-pay was whittled down to $600.

Second, if you don’t qualify for charity, sometimes you can get a discount for paying in full. Last December, when I called two different providers to try and get some of my medical debt forgiven, they were willing to give me a 25% discount if I paid it all up front by the end of the year because they were trying to clear up their books. This was a decision point for me – how long might I have to let this sit on my credit card and collect interest to save a total of $1,200 or could I manage to shift some savings over to cover it within a month? I decided to save the grand-ish and sacrifice some savings and forgo some self-care for a couple of months.

Medical debt is stressful but it is a little easier to handle than credit card and other types of debt. Mostly because it’s not typically going to collect interest or cause you problems if you are communicating with the debtor and paying something on a regular basis. Now, there is also a grace period on delinquent medical debt before it can reported to credit bureaus (and only for debt over $500). I hate having any debt hanging around, and I’m furious over how expensive our healthcare system is in this country, but that’s a story for another day.