solo mama entendre

My daughter makes her mark on my world every day. Every single day. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry, she makes my head spin, she makes me clench my teeth and raises my blood pressure. Lately she has been on this “Momma, never do “X” because…” mission. To the point where I’ve had to start keeping a list of everything I should never do.

I’m not sure where this recent focus has come from. She has been watching a lot of YouTube lately, but from what I can see, she mostly watches a really upbeat cute blond girl with an Australian accent talk endlessly about DIY projects – how to make a cute and colorful stress ball out of a balloon and cornstarch that you can tie to your backpack with curling ribbon, how to create a bright and attractive pencil pouch so you can sneak candy into class, how to make a fake cactus out of painted rocks and a flower pot to decorate your room when you can’t keep plants alive. The list goes on and she always has ideas for DIY. I can’t keep up and it has started to become a source of stress due to all the random things I need to keep on hand. 😑

Anyway, I felt compelled to share my list to date of things I should never do. Maybe it will also help some of you who had ever planned to do some of the following things give them a second thought.

1. Don’t ever build your tent by a pile of rocks beause a bunny could come and throw rocks on your tent.
2. (For God) Don’t ever build a volcano next to where you think a street might be some day.
3. Don’t ever put a string on a tree and hang on it because a bunny might come and cut the string and you will fall down.
4. Don’t ever hide in a fire place.
5. Don’t ever play hide and seek in a car. Once, a little kid did this when his mom was on a date and he was stuck in the engine for 30 years. He survived by drinking oil.
6. Don’t make a store with lots of money otherwise no one will come there and you will be broke.
7. Don’t ever try on anything if you don’t know what it is, you might turn into a mermaid.
8. Never use berries as lipstick. They could be poisonous.
9. Never leave the house and go anywhere without making sure your purse opens.
10. Don’t eat random things. You might be killed by people who don’t like America.
11. Always check the boxes in your mail. Read the tag first to make sure it’s not a bomb.

She makes me laugh ❤️