Solo Parenting and 5 Secrets to Weight Loss

Just kidding.

I have no secrets to weight loss. In fact, these secrets can likely lead to weight gain.

  1. Be broke enough that when you take your kids out to eat, you can’t afford a meal for yourself.
  2. Cut gluten out of your diet when you’ve made so many sandwiches for school lunches you can’t stand the smell of bread.
  3. Co-sleep with your children and as they grow, stretch yourself into so many unnatural positions that your body burns calories as it reels in pain from awkward sleeping poses.
  4. Pay $30 a month for a gym membership that you don’t use. The stress from paying needlessly for something burns a few calories a month.
  5. Balance out the effects of extra cortisol generated by lack of sleep with a minimum of two fully caffeinated coffees per day, one for breakfast and one for lunch.

 

5 responses to “Solo Parenting and 5 Secrets to Weight Loss”

  1. Hahaha. I am actually laying in bed lamenting my fat rolls and too Tired to do a thing about them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are too funny!!!! I do that all the time. 😂😂😍

      Like

    2. Story of my life! ha!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂😂😂

        Like

  2. Sounds about right! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

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